[sb,nb]
these thoughts I try to hide
I have faith in me and hope this will survive.
But it's tearing me apart.
I can't hear the words by which i guide,
so I must ask again
"who will carry me?"
I will not deny that nothing can defend
from the helplessness that's cutting deep inside, and I cannot prevent
the thought that nothing's real
seems I'm waiting years for this day to end.
The strength I need to feel, the pride inside of me,
are not there behind the face staring back at me
the anger and the pain of knowing where I am
I have come so far and I cannot return.
Nothing I can do that I have not done.
No words I can say. No truth left that I can see. So must I let this end?
So everything falls apart,
before I live my life as I have always done.
Tell me what to do so I do nothing wrong.
Something I can hope for. Something real that I can see.
So nothing falls apart. So that it does not end.
I cannot return. I can't start again
FOURTEEN.
The queen of snow returned. It was a long time coming. I wanted to thaw this heart. I wanted to believe. But it's better to be cold, it's better to stay frozen.
So many lessons, so many choices and directions to go. And the one that I've learned this time is that sometimes I need to be the one to walk away. I need to be the one to let go. I need to stop asking who will carry me.
I need to carry myself.
"Let them laugh and live on" she says "you know how it ends."
I knew it then.
I know it now.
I will carry myself.
*lyrics - "Rubicon" - VNV Nation
