enamored.
it is an amazing transition
I do not know that I will ever get used to
I will remain vaguely aware that it is inevitable
but
hold firm to something
like hopes and dreams
sincere wishes that someday, maybe
I will be proven wrong
someone
something
will withstand
knowing that I am better than good enough
and more than just an option
I am someone to be considered
treated with decency
I thawed my heart
and it hits harder
the queen of snow would not falter
would not doubt
she would ice her heart
all to make it difficult for feelings
despair, confusion, remorse, longing
to penetrate
she would pick up the pieces and move on
shed but a few tears
and curse how they were wasted on lesser beings
but now it hits me faster
and I am powerless against it

emotions like waves
an ocean of hopelessness
submerging beneath its depths
unable to see the surface

where is the exit?
a timeless question
I have yet to find the answer
when does it end?
does it ever?

flailing, pointlessly

I will still get lost in those eyes
remember touching that skin
remember those lips upon mine,
and the feeling it evoked
and wanting it back
I always want everything back
questioning myself and questioning
everything
why?
and what of my dreams?
I will never understand
but I will certainly try


all the world has closed her eyes
faith worn far and thin
for all we could have done
and all we could have been
ocean pulls me close
and whispers in my ear
the destiny I chose, all becoming clear
the currents have their say
the time is drawing near
it washes me away
it makes me disappear

adj. enamored - marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness.